Aveny Rue's Birth Story

Sweet baby girl!

Our L&D and post-partum room

Aveny's first morning out of the womb.

Our family homecoming picture

Simply put, I had an incredible birth. It was pretty much near perfect with what I was hoping for. God was so kind in so many areas. My early labor contractions were sporadic, yet strong, and my cervix was extremely responsive. It all started about noon on Friday, with contractions coming maybe once an hour, and some intermittent patterns, but nothing we thought (at the time) was indicative of labor picking up anytime too soon.

Friday afternoon I called Tanya (our doula/monitrice and hypnosis for childbirth instructor) to let her know that contractions were happening, but there was no solid pattern. She said to call when I felt like I needed her to come over, and to try and get involved in a project or something to take my mind off of the contractions. David and I watched a movie, ate dinner, and hung out in front of the TV for a while. I decided to go to bed around 9pm, since I figured things would probably pick up in the middle of the night or early morning and I wanted to have some sleep under my belt for the work ahead.

I had contractions about once an hour through the night. They were medium to strong and lasted between 30-60 seconds, but were totally manageable. I didn't think it was enough to merit a call to Tanya, but thankfully she called to check on me around 8am. I told her what was going on, and she said that since contractions were so spread out and showed no pattern that it was probably more like pre-labor than early labor and to call her if things picked up. About an hour later I tried to eat some breakfast and threw up instead. I knew that women often throw up during transition, and wondered if this meant I was further along than my contractions were telling us. We called Tanya back and she said she'd be over in a hour. I got into the tub to try and relax since I figured this was it! I expected contractions to get stronger, longer, and closer together at any moment, but they stayed about the same.

When Tanya came to the house to check me I was already at 4cm and nearly 100% effaced after about 24 hours of early/pre-labor type contractions. I got in the tub for about an hour, and was having back pain with each contraction. Tanya did some quantum touch therapy–she was able to loosen up my back muscles pretty significantly. They continued to tighten with each contraction, so it was a lot of continuous work. I changed positions several times because of the pain, but felt so confident and excited that I was really "doing" labor, and that I could have this baby naturally.

Contractions were still spread out and irregular, but an hour later when Tanya checked I was at 5cm and my midwife wanted us to meet her at the hospital since it was possible I'd go pretty fast from 5cm to 10cm. We got there and walked in to L&D. A couple of people who passed us said, "Get that girl a wheelchair!" I laughed with Tanya that I was "accepting only positive suggestions about my labor and birth."

We went to triage and Julie (our midwife) checked me and I was at about 6cm. Contractions were coming now every 4 minutes but still very manageable. Julie thought she felt the baby's hand above her head, and my water bag was bulging. I felt so confident and calm. I kept saying "I can totally do this!" After we got into our room (ABC room at West Suburban Hospital– it had a Queen bed with birth tub, fridge, microwave, full bathroom–which we got to stay in our entire hospital stay) I waited for the first round of penicillin to go through the IV before I could get unhooked and get in the shower. I remember feeling like I should be doing something, since contractions didn't require much of my attention at that point. Tanya and Julie both reminded me, "You ARE doing something!"

I got in the shower and contractions started to pick up with a more consistent pattern. It was getting harder, but I felt so confident and supported and loved. Tanya and David were feeding me crackers, chicken soup, honey sticks and making sure I was drinking enough fluids. I was getting really excited that it would be over soon! Julie came in every so often to check the baby's heartbeat which remained strong. Once I got out of the shower about 3-4 hours later, Julie checked me, and we found that I had only dilated to a 7/7.5–about 1cm. Julie started talking about what we might need to do to get things going.

She suggested she break my water, or we could wait and see what happened and maybe have to use Pitocin to get me to open all the way. David and I talked it over and consulted Tanya–we all agreed breaking my water would be the best option. I already had two doses of penicillin (so I was treated for GBS), and breaking my water wouldn't put the baby in danger if she wasn't delivered quickly enough. Julie broke my water at about 8cm. Julie said she felt that popped the baby's hand out of the way, which allowed her head to push on my cervix.

I labored in the shower for another hour or so on an egg-shaped yoga ball and was in agony. I was moaning deeply with the contractions. I was able to do a low moan through most of them up to that point to help manage the pain, and was able to use hypnosis to relax between them, but after her head started pushing on my cervix it was SO much more painful and all around my back. I was starting to feel downward pressure with a lot of them. It seemed like it would never end at this point. Since I was having such terrible back labor Tanya wanted to make sure the baby was rotating around in my pelvis, so she had David work with me to do a modified Robozo maneuver. He sat on the edge of the bed, and I sat in front of him on a yoga ball. He wrapped a sheet around the base of my belly, and with each contraction pulled up and toward my back. It KILLED. That was so incredibly painful. At this point I couldn't vocalize with the low moans, it was just whatever high-pitched screaming came out. Julie came over and sat in front of me. I was begging for drugs. I really just wanted someone to come in and take over and rescue me. It felt too hard and I was so tired. Julie got in my face and said, "You can do this. You are strong. All you have to do is push your baby out. If I give you something now, you still have to push your baby out. It will only help with relief between contractions." I was so tired at this point and so discouraged because I felt that if I still wasn't at 10cm and yet STILL had to push my baby out, I would never make it. I was begging everyone for drugs, but deep down hoped they wouldn't concede.

Julie told me to get in the shower for another hour, and that if I hadn't progressed at that point we could talk about other options. So I got in the shower and worked through another 20-30 min of terribly painful back contractions, along with the downward pressure. I sat on the ball with the water coming down over my belly. David and Tanya would fill up a glass of hot water and pour it over my back during each contraction. That really helped. Tanya talked me through each contraction and kept strong pressure on my lower back with her hands. I was screaming so much and in so much agony, I didn't think I could make it through. Julie came in and said that she would check me and then we could see what our options were. I was so thankful at that point, just to have an end in sight.

When Julie checked me again I was about 8.5/9 with a little lip of cervix left. She told me I had to push to get that last bit of cervix out of the way, and then "all I had to do" after that was to push my baby out. I started out on hands and knees, and then moved to my back. David supported my back, and Tanya pushed on my legs. I was frustrated because I was trying to figure out how to push, and had to do it 3 times with each contraction. They were coming about every 2 minutes and lasted about 90 seconds. I tried to not push for a couple of contractions, and then realized that it was much better when I pushed than when I didn't. I wasn't a relief, but it felt like I was doing something productive, and not just passively allowing the labor (and pain) to happen to me. I finally got the hang of it and had to push for about 40 minutes to get the cervix fully dilated. Julie had her fingers on my cervix as I was pushing, and I was cussing her in my mind. That made it hurt so much worse, but I know she had to check to see if the pushing was working. She said that with the pushes I was opening up to a good 9, and to keep going.

Most women I hear about will start cussing their husbands at that point... I basically demanded David kiss me in between contractions! It helped me relax so much. I was grunting and pushing was so hard. Once I was at 10cm, pushing started to help move baby down and Julie took my hand to feel her head as it was crowning. Everyone kept talking about how much hair she had and I was stunned after I felt her... I think that was the first time I realized that a baby was really coming out! I could hear Tanya, Julie, and David all encouraging me with the pushes but felt like I was in an alternate universe. Pushing was such an intense experience–I never expected it to be such hard work that would require total effort from my mind and body.

Julie suggested I move to an upright position to help bring on more productive pushes. I saw that the birth tub was filled, but I asked for the birthing stool. I was helped to the stool, with David behind me supporting my back. Julie laid on the floor on her stomach. The first upright pushes helped bring her down! I heard Julie say something about how I was going to deliver right there. I pushed with 2-3 more contractions and our baby girl was born! Julie pulled her out and held her upright and showed her to me. I immediately grabbed her and pulled her to my chest. I was helped to the bed where I laid down and admired my little girl. I kept staring at her in total amazement of what just happened. Julie allowed the cord to finish pulsating, and David cut it after it was done. I delivered the placenta shortly after and continued to stare at my little girl. She was so amazing and perfect. I couldn't believe she was inside of me just seconds before. I was euphoric and wiped out and so in love with everyone in the room. I felt so confident and strong and exhausted at the same time. It was the most amazing high–knowing I labored and delivered my baby girl without pain medication!

Everyone seemed to be relieved and happy she was born before midnight. It was the most emotionally, mentally and physically trying experience of my life, but I wouldn't go back and change a thing. (Except maybe her little hand above her head that led to The Big Pause–she loves to sleep with both hands above her head!) I love knowing that I was totally present for every second of labor and delivery–mind and body. Our little girl latched on with ease, bonding was easy and sweet, and our transition home has been smooth and stable. I know that raising and training this little girl to be a godly woman will take all I have to give. I am forever grateful to Tanya, Julie, and David for helping me bring her into this world with my body, because I will always carry the confidence that I can take care of her with it.